Key Takeaways

• Losing weight together as a couple increases the chances of success 

• But it can also strain the relationship.

• When approaching weight loss as a couple, it’s important for both parties to fully support one another and be fully on board with the idea of healthy changes.

• Creating a supportive environment, sharing responsibilities, maintaining open communication, and setting realistic goals are crucial to navigating the challenges of a shared weight loss journey.

Why wouldn’t you want to rope your partner in if you want to lose weight? 

Research shows that couples who try to lose weight together are far more likely to succeed (up to three times more!) if their partner makes similar efforts. Well, maybe it’s because, despite what studies say, you’re aware of the possibility — no matter how slight — it could ruin your relationship with:

• Tension: The party who loses more weight may often make well-meaning but nonetheless critical comments about the other party needing to try harder to “keep up”.

• Insecurity: The party who loses less weight may feel threatened and insecure by the other’s success. 

Good news: while engaging in weight loss programs for couples can negatively affect a relationship, a 2013 study suggests that you can lose weight without jeopardizing your love life by having both parties fully onboard with the idea of healthy changes and being supportive of one another.

#1: Create a supportive environment

Weight loss as a couple is not a competition. 

And even if both of you have a competitive streak, don’t compare how much body weight is lost. That’s because weight loss rates can differ according to:

• Current body weight: Generally speaking, the more weight someone has to lose, the more they can safely lose in a given month. Most guidelines recommend a weight loss of between 0.5 to 1 kg per week; as such, individuals with higher body weight can lose closer to 1 kg weekly, whereas those with lower body weight can lose closer to 0.5 kg weekly.

• Body composition: Because muscle mass is more metabolically active than fat mass, someone with a lower body fat percentage will generally lose more weight at a given calorie intake and physical activity level.

Instead, consider using behaviors and habits to keep each other on track. Notice what each other is doing well, celebrate their wins, and use that to identify areas of improvement.

Examples:

• “My partner went to the gym during his lunch break at work every day this week, so I’ll try to do the same. We can video-call and keep each other going on the treadmill.”

• “I filled half my plate with vegetables at lunch. I’m going to work with my partner, so we both increase our veggies intake.”

Always remember that the goal isn’t to “win " but to work together to achieve shared goals. Be each other’s cheerleaders and acknowledge both parties’ successes along the way.

#2: Share responsibilities

According to a 2023 meta-analysis, eating a healthy, high-protein, calorie-restricted diet and following a regular exercise routine is the most effective weight loss protocol — more than doing either alone.

For most couples, the exercise bit is easier to achieve. Depending on your schedules, you may prefer to work out separately or together (by the way, check out this article on five fun couples exercise ideas).

The diet aspect, on the other hand, is a little trickier. It’s no secret that, in Singapore, finding a meal that’s:

• Low-calorie, balanced, and high in protein 

• Yet budget-friendly 

… is nearly impossible. Sure, there are healthy, affordable hawker fares. But you’d often be forced to “compromise” on a particular macronutrient (e.g., sliced fish soup is calorie-friendly and high protein but doesn’t offer much fiber). 

While healthy, balanced, high-protein meals can be found in cafes and restaurants, many cost upwards of S$10. 

This is why many couples choose to meal prep. 

You get complete control over everything, from macronutrient split to the amount of sodium and added sugars that go into your food. It’s also (unsurprisingly) friendlier on your wallets. Based on data collected by Forbes, making home-cooked meals is five times cheaper than eating out.  

Here comes the big “but”: meal prep takes time. And it’s not just the preparation time (e.g., washing, slicing, chopping, cooking) but also the planning, grocery shopping, and cleaning up. 

Imagine all those responsibilities falling on just one person. Exhausting. 

This is especially true if that person also has to deal with other house and family duties, like laundry, school drop-offs and pick-ups for children, and feeding pets. 

That is to say, to maximize your chances of successfully losing weight together as a couple without putting your relationship through the wringer, you must share responsibilities. 

How to share responsibilities 

A person can plan and cook, while the other cleans, for example. Or someone can take charge of meal prepping, and the other picks up the slack in other aspects. 

Of course, relationships aren’t always 50/50. Schedules, personalities, preferences, and fluctuating demands may require one person to sacrifice more than the other from time to time. But both parties must have an honest conversation about what each is willing to give so nobody feels exploited, used, or taken for granted. 

#3: Think realistically, and long-term 

It’s tempting to dive into weight loss programs for couples wanting to lose a massive amount of weight in a short time — which often necessitates very-low-calorie diets (fad diets that reduce energy intake to 800 and 1,200 calories daily) and a ton of exercise. 

But trying to lose too much, too fast, is counterproductive. 

Besides the whole sustainability issue, losing weight too quickly (as mentioned earlier, > 0.5 to 1 kg weekly) could cause:

• Excessive muscle mass loss: Muscle mass keeps metabolism high and regulates appetite. In fact, research shows that the more muscle mass you lose, the hungrier and more likely you’ll be to regain weight once the diet is over. 

• Nutritional deficiencies: It’s challenging to consume enough important nutrients like iron, folate, and vitamin B12 when you’re just eating between 800 to 1,200 calories daily. This means you may run into troubling symptoms like hair loss, extreme fatigue, poor immune function, and unexplained mood changes. 

This is why it’s important to set and approach your weight loss goals as a couple in a realistic manner. Also, understand that the battle isn’t over once the weight is lost. Instead, it continues for life because you’ll both need to keep the weight off. 

Translation: focus on weight loss strategies that make sense for both of you.

#4: Lean on healthy conflict resolution strategies

Navigating the lifestyle changes needed to achieve weight loss together as a couple can cause conflicts. If unresolved, the simmering tension and resentment may boil over one day, irreversibly damaging your relationship.

So, here are four conflict resolution tips to keep in mind the next time things get heated:

1. Remain calm: Entering a conversation feeling angry, upset, or highly emotional can make finding a resolution extremely challenging. 

2. Create an atmosphere of mutual respect: Treat each other respectfully with “fair fighting rules”, such as no cursing, name-calling, raising your voice or yelling, direct or indirect violent behavior, and cooling off and trying again later when things get too heated. 

3. Validate feelings: When your partner tells you how they feel (e.g., neglected because you’ve been exercising so much), don’t jump straight into correcting any misperceptions or misunderstandings. Instead, acknowledge their feelings (e.g., make affirmative statements like, ‘I understand’ or ‘That’s a good point’) so they feel understood and heard.

4. Commit to a win-win solution: Each party must commit to finding a solution that works equally for both. For example, if your partner feels neglected because you’ve been spending all your free time exercising instead of with them, could you find ways to stay physically active together? Always make compromising and resolution the goal. 

#5: Work with professionals 

Here’s the thing. You don’t have to lose weight together as a couple — alone. Feel free to engage the services of a:

• Fitness coach: Who has the expertise to design and guide you through exercise programs that are best suited for your fitness levels, goals, preferences, and schedules. 

• Dietitian: Who can create individualized meal plans for you both to ensure you’re meeting your nutritional needs while losing weight. And just so you know, studies have consistently found that people who work with a registered dietician lose more weight than those who don’t. 

Hmm. What about all the prescription weight loss drugs you’ve been hearing about? 

Can they help you and your partner on your weight loss journeys? The answer is yes. If you’re interested in finding out more, why not check out one of the most popular weight loss programs for couples available in Singapore: NOVI Optimum Plus?

This medical weight loss program includes:

• GLP-1 RA medication such as semaglutide

• Guidance from a doctor who’s specialized in weight management

• Digital diet and fitness coaching 

… giving you and your partner the ultimate holistic support needed to achieve your weight loss goals.